French Fry Oils

Dear Lifeless Readers:

So...its been a few years now since fast food restaurants have been strong armed into switching to oils without transfat. Vegetarian morons who dont get enough protein to sustain their thought energy pressed and pressed and took the one thing out of fast food that it had going for itself: FLAVOR!

Has anyone tried a McDonalds french fry since the switch? There is a bitter after taste and greasy film left in your mouth when all is said and done. Tastes like it was shat right out of the clown's ass. Oh...do I miss the days of OLD McDonalds. You know...the one where:

1. The playground was all metal and dangerous...I'm all for thinning the herd.

2. Apple Pies were deep fat fried to a crispy deliciousness unparalleled in this universe and my arteries.

3. Food came in really cool styrofoam containers that really held up to LONG TERM storage.

4. The shameless merchandising of McDonaldland characters such as Mayor McCheese, Big Mac, The Hamburglar, among others, made a trip to McDonalds a hell of a lot more fun and made it extra special for a kid. Now, all we have to be excited over are the salad choices.

5. The OLD McDonaldland cookies that tasted like they were made of mostly butter and sugar. They used to be delicious. Now they suck and taste as exciting as fortune cookies.

6. The really cool collector's glass sets you could get OR the Disney Christmas ornament that came with every $5 Gift Certificate set you bought at Christmas. This is timeless kitch.

7. And finally...a friggin french fry made with trans fat, salt and potatoes...in that order.

It's a disgrace what nutrition, health and busybodies have done to an Amercian classic. When I wen to McDonalds, I knew what I was getting into. I knew what I was eating was bad for me. I'd like to have that choice again and my flavor returned to me.